Happy eating day

Finally & finally I begin my very first scrumptious meal after stupid pox. Here we go lunch in chilis, midvalley. I seriously feel so good after start eating plus the environment and great services they provided kick start my wonderful Saturday. Of course, how could we miss our all time favourite chatime after scrumptious lunch ? Here we go to satisfied our needs, my choice green tea red bean. Giggles * I'm officially pass in resisting the temptation of mega sales, so now i'm in safe zone. Seriously, It would feel good at all. All the brandy stuff freaking cheap now, unfortunately i couldn't get all of em. I need to save for exciting months with full of events August :)) So then, i need to resist the temptation. Only spent few hours to lunch at the mall, we then headed home to continue our studies. How i wish i could do anything w/hout worrying tons of incomplete tasks which stack on my heart till i barely can breath. Sigh*

My choice of the day

This became my all time favourite in chilis, Spicy Honey Chicken ! Two thumbs up for that

Have not been taking many pictures when I'm infected with pox. The ugly face with ugliest pox , you know. No longer afraid of taking pictures since my face's condition is getting better than before.

This became a piece of art, coincidentally :)

Not being able to focus,

Have not enough strange to move on,

Forgot my aims & goals,

Feeling so lifeless,

Feeling so weak,

Feeling so empty and hardly breath,

Easily get anooyed,

Hot tempered

& etc.

________________________________________________________________

My symptoms of stress. Currently, i had it all. I'm feeling the stress from all the incomplete task. Where's my strong self motivation goes? determination i used to have & anytime, anywhere study mood ? I lost em all. My schedule drives me crazy, I don'y even have time to go home & catch up with my friends :(

Just for this week, I have

●1 extremely confusing lab report to do

●2 assignments which haven't start any discussion yet

● 1 must score midterm

●Meeting for friendly match

●Sport division meeting

●Addition time scholarship duty

●Food trial

●Food fair discussion

●Food trial feedback

●Brain mapping course.

●2 training sessions to attend.

I'm freaking stress out with all these. I'm continuously tortured by those incomplete task. After this week, here come the next stressful week with different tasks. I'm drowning !

Long sleepless night

Insomnia , just by the word can drive me crazy like a nut and making my energy level collapse to the ground. I'm suffering from serious one ever since i had chicken pox. Counting sheep, reading the nerdy notes it doesn't work on me at all. nothing else i could do and ended up lying on the bed from 5 hours till the sunrise then i begin to fall asleep like a poor baby. It happens at least 2 - 3 times a week , i'm seriously living in hell place. Totally exhausted, no other or better word could be used to describe the situation my body is facing.

Every pump of heart getting weak , every inhalation getting swallow but the nervous systems in my brain working hard in transmitting messages like a bee. Damn it, you could rather just kill me than letting me hanging in this horrible situation. I'm feeling scare yet worried when the sky turning dark , worrying I again stayed up till beautiful sunrise. I'm different when talking about sleeping, don love it but not hate it. Every night getting on the bed, the first thought come across my mind is what I gonna do the next morning and hoping yet excite about the next day. Rescue me :( I'm currently typing with half asleep and half opened eye condition ,with extremely awake brain.

Till then, with another sleepless night ,
Fennie

Oh hello

Life was good so far. Busy with exam and food fair which freaking stress me out after super long chicken pox holidays. Missed two weeks class so then struggling to catch up now, anyway it's still good. Chicken pox had treating me well , and i lost 2kg with my healthy diet for weeks . Gonna hunt for scrumptious meal when i'm free from the recovering week which i cannot wait for :) Gonna list all of em out . Giggles * Gah! i seriously out of topic to write as i'm to lazy to update each time.

When u're out of focus, It will remind u to stay focus !

Healthy all way out. Dinner of the day . It's Yum when comes to cauliflower/ broccoli :D
Going to be an unknown's make-up model for competition. Butterflies started to grow in my tummy. I have no experience in this particular field at all, i'm worry to disappointed her but i'm giving myself this opportunity to try. Where's my confident goes? Need more encouragement and go for crazy diet to get perfect outcome .

Till then,
Fennie

17 June

I'M FREAKING EMO!
What the hell ! what the hell ! :'(

Any shoulder to cry on ? please come forward to me .

To you, the bear

I'm sorry for my high demand for being pampered and spoiled from you. I admit i'm too greedy and want to be a happiest girl ever. but seriously, who don't?

I know, relationship cannot be compare . I apologized for my demanding , for my jealousy towards other couples. I didn't want to comment anything nor complain too much as I'm not the best one either. We know everybody isn't born to be perfect, but life lessons & environmental factors will train us to better and outstanding each day. But I promise, I would do my best in everything in my life including in our relationship to make it better, make it colourful . It's all because you're my choice, you're the colour of my life.

Please accept my apology, I do not have the intention to make you feel like you're the worse bf ever. To me, you ain't that bad :) at least, you're a 101% loyal and honest one . It's my pleasure , bear ! I should be stop complaining i'm not being treated like a princess / being pampered like mummy's youngest daughter . Maybe you have done enough. & maybe you're a little special to deliver your love from different ways.

When comes to eternity. Remember, i told you before i don't believe it. To be truthful, i do believe the exist of love to eternity. But saying that you love a person to eternity is like a promise to the person you love. I'm tired of empty promises, and I don not dare give a promise that could only be imagined yet not sure whether it would comes true. Being with each other , isn't talking about I love you forever, but cherish the moment being with each other each day , be truthful, be lovely and share everything single thing about life include happiness.

I do not wish accumulation of not so serious problems might influence us in the future. Don't look over unsolve small matters. It could be a evil weapon that hurt us when it accumulates to a big matter. So lets speak it out all the small or big problems & we solve it together :')
Instead of thinking about you or me have not done enough for our relationship? Hmm. I should better spend my time thinking and be thankful to god for meeting you in 7 billions of population :) and yet very SUPRISELY, we are penangite ! Giggles* also rather spending my time on how to live happy ever after with you .

xoxo,
Fennie

confused scene.

Scene #1 :

Unknown:Heavy? Do you wan me to give you a hand?

Friend 1 : Weeyy! Help her take la faster. She's sick already.

Friend 2: Come I take. Where can let girls carry stuff?

Scene #2:

Unknown: Walk further down abit , very troublesome to go in and out.

Friend 1: Nvm la, no need walk so far, i pick you from inside.

Scene #3:

Unknown: Can you borrow something from you? Bring to me.

Friend 1: I come get it from you at your house.

Scene #4

Subject: Aww! This is pretty!
Unknown: Remain silence.

Friend 1 : How much? i buy for you lar.

Scene #5

Subject: Sigghh! Don't know how i gonna celebrate one and only 21st.

Unknown: Remain silence.

Friend 1: No worry la, if you're here we confirm celebrate together with you.

Friend 2: Sure happening wan! I'm planing to buy this and that for you as I promised.

Scene #6

Subject: Sick

Unknown: Faster go back.

Friend 1: Please allow me to company you back. With my company you're be more comfortable and safer. Somemore got ppl help you to carry stuff.

Friend 2: Take care kayy.

Scene #7

Subject : Sick 2

Unknown: Lets go out and eat !

Friend 1: Don go out! You're not allow to get sun and rain. Must care of your own diet.

Thank you.

Thanks for your caring towards me.

I admitted I tend to ignore all the goods and care from you.

I shouted you to stop, I treat it as an annoyed , I began evil and mad at you,
but you never know ,

deep inside my heart I cherished everything you have done.
Let go things that are not worth to remember,
mistake can be learnt, learning from the mistake and never repeat it,
is the best gift that I could ask from you.
It has been years, you have done everything you can be done.
Forgiveness from me was given to you long time ago.
Thanks for
always be the first and be ahead of me , to make things that i desire to come true.
Thanks for always there for me when i'm in trouble situation.
Somewhat,
do you know

Your daring, your caring had brought me to worsen my feeling sometimes?

People that should be treating me well , suprisely turned into another way round.
I'm sometimes being treated like a princess by friends & you but not people that i wish to.

I felt worse, I felt anooyed, I feel angry ,I felt heartache !

xoxo,
Fennie